Despite the rain, I was having a perfectly fine day.
And then I got out of bed. (More on that in a moment).
The secret to my success — when I can accomplish it — is sleeping through my alarm clock. (Full disclosure: sometimes I cheat by "forgetting" to set it).
Anyway, I awoke to realize I missed the alarm by 90 minutes. Now, I'm not overly superstitious, but whenever that happens, I consider it a sign from God that I shouldn't go to work.
You see, my alarm has a direct connection to the heavens because it's got a cross on it, thanks to an X-shaped smudge from a marker mishap. It was another one of those days I was trying to avoid the rain coming through the window (where the alarm is) while crossing off "work" from my not-to-do list. (Also, the alarm has never been the same since getting doused so many times.)
So, you'll understand my pleasure to wake up and recognize it was too late to go to work. In celebration, I went back to sleep.
You may also appreciate my displeasure when I got up at noon to answer the doorbell and sign a letter that I was terminated from my job for not showing up for the past six weeks and not calling in. How could I call in? My boss is rarely at work, either!
I wanted to run after the postman to advise him that he had the wrong address because I work for the government. (Although he's among those unfortunate ones who need to show up to get paid — so any sympathy would be suspect). And what kind of responsible person would run after a postal employee in the rain, anyway? Too much effort!
Instead, I realized this required planning, so it was best to nap first while my alarm was bathing. It's distressing because, once more, this means a new job search. However, I'm running out of federal bureaucracies to not work for, which means I may have to consider unemployment benefits. But that doesn't pay as well.
Life is unfair.
Back to bed for me.
by George Alger
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